My Hobby

Insaf dan Sedar

Perasaan Kesedaran dan keinsafan di atas setiap kesilapan yang dilakukan adalah suatu nikmat yang sgt berguna dan bermakna sebagai seorang insan yang bergelar hamba Allah.

2011

its 2011...the year that I have waited after long journey of school.yeah!I have graduated from university. This is not the end of my school journey yet. wow..just cant believe it.2011..almost 2012..I born in 1988..means 23 years old living in this planet earth and can still see the beautiful laugh of my family and being together with them and enjoy the green earth. Thank you Allah..

Take the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true...

Woman has always the power to bring herself to get out from the dark circle of her life and to choose another better and happier life

The life will feel better if we give the chance to ourselves by open the hearts and minds to see the beauty and positive things in our lives.

Internship-School Counsellor

After Internship

Alhamdulillah...It really the most moment that I have waited for the whole of my life as a Counselling student. I have successfully done the 3 months internship. There are a lot of sweet moments that I will never forget for being a school counsellor at this school and the bitter moments I will make it as the good experiences to improve myself. This internship is the platform for me to improve myself after the previous practicum. Besides, this internship also had taught and prepares me a lot before enter the real setting and be the actual school counsellor later.

Some of the things that I need to improve are time management, the documentation of my clients and session notes. I do think that I have minor problems in term of managing my time to do counselling session and do the report of counselling session at school. This is because as I worked at school, I have to follow the school administration such as enter the classroom during relief class. Usually, I have a trouble to make the session report after conduct counselling session and sometimes I have no choice to do the report at my hostel. Thus, it will be a bit difficult for me to switch off my mind from all the works at my room. However, I do believe that later after enter the real setting of work, I am able to manage my time wisely.

Apart from that, as I have received the warm welcome from the counsellors, teachers and administration, I never feel hesitate to seek guide and help from them. Because of the wonderful atmosphere at the school, it encourages me more to do my internship very well and the most important thing is I have successfully replace the negative stigma of ‘I will never enjoy being a school counsellor’ to the better and positive perception of the school that ‘I will have the joy and more fun be in the school later.’

Furthermore, I do feel better of being a school counsellor now so far after done the practicum and internship at schools. This internship has given me the most beautiful gift in my life. Is is the new paradigm I have gained during the internship. Before this, I were totally avoided to be in school and it was the most last thing I want in my life. However, right now, instead of make the circle that full with negative elements around me such as feel bad, low self-esteem and weak, I break the ice circle and start to think this is a chance that Allah gives to me. For me, Allah gives me the things that I hated the most (be in the school), not because He wants to torture me, burdened me or it does not mean He did know what I want. For surely Allah Knows the best for me. He is given me the big chance to enjoy the sweet moments and open my heart to see the beauty of school. Thank you to Allah because let me to think that way and able to find the answer of question such as ‘why certain thing happens to me?’. It really makes me feel better right now. I feel like things around me just fall at the right place and how beautiful it is Allah has arranged my life. The thing I hate the most does not mean it is worst for me. Now, to my own surprise I do love be a counsellor and work at the school is just so much fun to me.

This internship prepares me a lot on how to face the real setting later and give myself an opportunity to experiment my skills as school counsellor. It is the good platform for me as counselling student to know good things that I have to maintain and bad things that I have to improve in order to make me the better counsellor. This not the end but it is still the beginning of my journey as school counsellor. The most important thing I have learned is the life will be better if we give the chance to ourselves by open our hearts and minds to see the positive things in our lives.

Case presentation-Internship

Before case presentation

Before the case presentation. I feel a bit stress. I wondered how it is going to be. Could I present it very well? I never expect it will be very soon because I have not prepare very well for it. Besides, we have not being supervise and discuss with our lecturer yet about our case presentation. Thus, I expect the presentation will be postpone. However, my expectation is not true. I just prepare my slides and keep telling myself I just have to do my best. We have done the case presentation at the previous practicum of being a school counsellor. I think maybe because of this fact that make me feel more calm as I have got an idea how it is going to be and thus, the level of nervous is not that high just as 1 out of 10.

During presentation

However, on the day of case presentation, I was shocked to know I was the first presenter and I really did not expect it. What I have told myself, I just have to present. That is the first business to deal with. While doing my presentation, I feel my life like a flowing river that never stops although there is a stone as the boundaries. I keep presenting and share with the audiences what I have done with my client in front of the juries (lecturers and invited guest). I know they will give comments and critiques about my techniques but the reactions that I will get from the juries was not the real main that I focused on. Besides, i have prepare my mind to hear all the positive and negative comments. The thing that my mind is focusing on at that time is to finish my presentation.

After presentation

Alhamdulillah, I have done the presentation. After I have done the presentation, I feel like I am free and happy butterfly that was giving a 100% freedom to fly anywhere I want. I feel like I am giving the total 100% of freedom not to worry about anything anymore. It really wonderful moment I have in my life. It feels like a big stone on my chest has been totally removed from the chest and I do feel relief.

The first day of internship

The first day of internship, my heart was in the stage of calmness. I felt grateful and happy as there will be more of my friends from IIUM doing the internship there too. My friends and I received a very warm welcoming from the principal, teachers and students. Students will greet us wherever they meet us and show a mutual respect to all teachers. My heart feel touched to see all of these. There is a day I feel so glad and happy to see the school students with nice school uniform and the school prefects will put blazers on their uniforms and they absolutely look astonishing. It reminds me some of the sweet moments in my high school and I feel the feeling of missing them. The most interesting part for me is when a Form One male student asked me politely about something. I really love the way he show the mutual respect towards teachers. If it is not too much, I will say that this student is one of the factors that encourage me to wake up early in the morning and go to school. Besides that, some of the good response from students while I was doing relief class and active participation from them while I was conducting classroom guidance activities are another factors increase my interest to be in school. Apart from that, I just found that interacts with those school students is very interesting and fun because of their childish minds and behaviours. To see all this young girls and boys study make my heart feel touch to help them become the better people in the future. After the first few weeks in the school, I would like to say that “I am okay and doing well so far”. There is only on the second day of internship where I feel very stress because unable to control the class. Every time I feel stress, I will immediately tell my friends about it and we share our feelings among each other. When seeing my other friends also face and feel almost the same thing, I feel better because I am not the only one face it on this world. I keep learning every day about how to make my day become better. I put less expectation, knowing my limits and not blaming myself for the things I was unable to do such as controlling the classroom with a lot of naughty students. I told myself that there is the thing I can do and there is a thing I cannot do. For the things I cannot do such as unable to control the classroom and control the disrespectful students, I just ignore them. It is not because I am giving up but because I know it is beyond my capability. To add, some of the students act disrespectful towards practical teachers because they know we do not have the absolute power to punish them and this make them less afraid of practical and beginner teachers.

One day, while climbing on the stair in the school, suddenly my mind thought about something, “Why do not I replace the bitter moments I have been through before with better and sweetest moment in my life? I think I have been given an opportunity to fix the broken part and darkness of my life. Allah Knows Best. He sends me back to the high school not to torture me, not to put a big stone on me or make me feel burden, but Allah give me a chance to enjoy the moment in the high school that I have not experience before. Thank You Allah for make me realize about this. Alhamdulillah! Before this, during my practicum, I said that I want to terminate my scholarship contract and run away because I do not want to finish the 5 years contract of working at school setting. I have planned to apply for another works as long as not in the school setting. I am glad and grateful that I am not doing such a thing. I learn many things during pre practicum in term of controlling the class, make an effective counselling session and interact with school administration. All of these were very useful and I have applied them for my internship right now. There are still things that I have to improve in term of make an effective counselling session and classroom management. To my own surprise, I would like to admit that I am fall in love with the school environment now and because of that I make a decision to stay in the school setting. I want to work as a good teacher and helpful counsellor for the school students.

Before internship

Before internship

A week before internship, I feel very nervous and worry about myself. I worry how my life will be. I just cannot imagine how I am going to continue my life for the next three months of internship because the previous one month of pre-practicum has affect so much of my life. I almost totally change to another weakest person of mine as my spirits to live is only about 10%, my self-confidence become deteriorate and my interest towards everything that I love to do before seems fading. If only one month of practicum has affect the another 5 months of my life, then I wondered how much my life will be destroyed for being the practical school counsellor for 3 months. Deeply in my heart, I keep shouting”I do not want to be in school environment. “It is only after 5 months of practicum I am trying to pick up myself again from the floor and be myself again. However, after thinking about the coming internship, my heart pounding and my mood a bit swings. I told my friends earlier about my mood maybe will be swing and unstable during internship as an earlier explanation for them so that they will not misunderstood my unfriendly responds to them. I also discuss with my practical partner, Sister Raffeza about some of my bizarre behaviours such as suddenly I might be very quiet, seems in a bad mood or maybe suddenly crying if I were in school. I have to told my partner all these so that she will understand my situation. She also asked me what she must do when I were in such a situation. I told her that she just have to be at my side and hear my words. Therefore I symbolize the moment of a week before internship as a disaster. I draw a big wave, dinosaur that cause a chaos, sun burning, wrecked house, the collapse of tree and earthquake. All these natural disaster really reflect my feelings at the time before internship. One month of pre practicum before feels like my inner side have been tortured. Because of the 5 years of bitter moments that I have been through during my high school age, the scar in my heart seems to keep bleeding again whenever I entered the school gate. By bring myself into the high school environment, it evoke the bitter moment and face a lot of unexpected things during practicum make me feel like I am killing myself as I enter and back to the high school surroundings which was the very last thing I want in my life. Therefore, I imagined that my life during internship will be like a disaster. The day before internship, I told myself that I just leave it all to Allah S.W.T..I do not want to expect anything and set any high expectation of the school students and teachers. I just bring my mind to the moderate state and ask my mind to keep pause for a while from thinking anything about school. I just keep living until the first day of internship.

Things Happen for Reason

Things Happen for Reason

When we have problems, we will feel like why I have to face this?
When others say there is something good behind all this challenge. Be patient?
But, most of us think and ask ourselves, where is the good thing of face the challenge?

When we have problem, we ask ourselves, why this happen?
Then, we keep try harder to solve the problem but the question still hanging just like that.
Without our realization, the root of problem that we have to deal first is the first question that we have asked ourselves.

We have to find the reason and answer why we have the problem. It is our question and of course the answer is within ourselves.

At that time, when we get the answers for all our instinct questions that we will get through instinct, we will just realize the beautiful of our life that has been arranged and determined by Allah. How nice Allah has arrange our life and things is just fall on the right path. The key of getting the instinct answer is believe in Allah.

A little servant

Do feel like the smallest creatures. There is nothing can be compared with Allah.

Allah is The Great, The Highest and The Most Powerful.

While performing the Solah, feel like have nothing, have no power and very weak. Feel very poor in front of Allah. Nothing is owned by me. Everything is belongs to Allah.Feel like smallest ant that full with black dirts of sin.

Anytime Allah can do anything to me. Because Allah is The Most Powerful.
I have no reason to be proud of because I have nothing. Everything in this world is Allah's properties. So, Allah the only can be Proud.

Thus, anything around me, its belong to Allah and He can Give and Take it from me anytime. He Knows better what good and bad for me.

I love Allah.
It is the most delicious and joy to be one of the servants for Allah in this world.

Study Counselling

What you get from studying counselling?


For me, study counselling is very much helping me view my own life. It is like a magic mirror to me. Everything that I have done in my life will be reflected by the effects of my decision and actions. But, with counselling, I get the full view of my life and its reflection.